What will happen with the kids?
How can I minimise conflict with my ex?
Do we have to move out of our home?
You may be thinking about separation and divorce, but want to protect your kids from the effects of divorce. Family breakdown is never easy, however it does not need to be a nasty drawn-out battle.
There are ways to achieve an amicable agreement about how to co-parent your children and divide up your assets without going to court. When reaching agreement, the focus should be on what is best for your children.
In Australia, both parents are encouraged to take an active role in their children’s lives following separation and divorce. This means you and your ex will continue to make decisions about your children’s long term future, such as schooling and health care plans.
In most instances, the children will continue to spend most of their time with the parent who has been their most ‘hands on’ carer. This often means that the children will mainly live with one parent and will spend a substantial amount of quality time, including weekdays, weekends, school holidays and special family days such as birthdays and Christmas, with the other parent. These arrangements can be flexible and both parents can work around each other to accommodate their work commitments and any unexpected special events.
There is often conflict between partners during a separation and divorce. Sometimes one parent feels angry that the relationship is over and believes that the other parent is responsible. It is important that in these circumstances the focus is on what is best for the children.
Where there is conflict between parents, it may not be practical for the parents to pick up the children from each other’s homes. In these circumstances, some families use the children’s sporting and schooling activities to change over between one house and the other to eliminate possible conflicts in front of the children.
Both parents may also benefit from doing a course in ‘Parenting after Separation’ to help set the boundaries for communicating with each other following the divorce.
Once you have thought about what routine you can establish for the children, you will need to work out the property settlement. When splitting assets, you should aim to come to a fair agreement that will ensure your children are provided for.
You might decide that one of you is going to buy the other out of your family home and transfer the property and mortgage into one name. You will need to check with your bank first to make sure that you can borrow the right amount of money before you finalise any transfer arrangements. Alternatively, you may identify that the house needs to be sold. Hopefully, this will enable you to pay out the mortgage and other joint debts, then determine how to split the cash that is left over from the property sale.
There are many myths and misunderstandings about separation, divorce, and property settlement, and these only add to your worries.
To read more about what solutions may be best for you and your children during separation and divorce, read our free e-book How You Can Protect Yourself and Your Children During Family Breakdown today.
To avoid needless worry, you may want to speak with one of our experienced family lawyers about your individual situation.
Kelly Batey and Bruce Batey of Bateys Family Lawyers have years of experience in family law. We have assisted hundreds of families through the difficult process of separation and divorce.